woah...been ages since my last visit here.

ok straight to the point of what the fuck im doing here after a year plus of inactive,tumblr is way more fun by the way,try it out.i have this old wound that haven't really healed completely,even with time.and from time to time the scumbag brain will dig up this old wound itself,which will normally took a day or two to heal back,temporarily until the next cycle,something like the ladies PMS.
this old wound of mine involves 2 of my used-to-be-best-trusted friends,even more than my family,I shamefully admit.and things somehow went spirally out of control few years back,the where,when,how and why it all started was still a mystery until now,which at first I don't want to know and avoid,mainly to save myself from the further pain and humiliation.see I was stuck in the middle of this fuckin mess,almost feel like I was the cause of this whole mess itself.
since all I ever wanted was both of them to be happy,at that time,so I was prepared to become the sacrificial item,choose to walk away from all this mess and leave them be.
and the dark days of my life begins,everyday I feel like I'm just a walking zombie with my head and heart being dug out within me.i have never or very rarely talked to others about what and how I feel inside because I feel like I'm exposing my own vulnerability and make myself looked weak and a fool,so everyday I put on this mask that shows my tough-and-cold looking exterior but inside I'm just another human being,with my own weakness and fragile spirit that u can just destroy with a gentle blow.
time after time I slowly picked myself up and beginning to find my own path and direction but that old wound will come back and haunt me,too,refusing to heal completely.after that big debacle happened I tried not to contact both of them again because that's what I think is the best for all of us,or both of them at least.its better to let them be happy and not letting them see that broken and acarred me.after the wound did not healed completely for some time,it'll rot and that's when anger and frustration kicks in.i am so angry at this whole situation,angry at myself why did I let this all happened,why I was so stupidly oblivious of something is starting to go wrong and mostly,angry at myself why did i never did adequately right to salvage the situation before it went haywire and to the point of no return.during that period I think I might have depression or some shit,so much anger and frustration in me that I'm starting to just surrender myself to that evil side of me and let it consume me alive.all those anger in me I'm just a step away from calling both of them and yell out everything I could on the phone and vent all those angst,aimed at them.
but in the end,I did nothing.probably because I loved both of them too much to do that,refused to let them see that dark side of me and take this mess to another low point.
but still there are still many things that I wished I could tell them both.sometimes I wonder if it's better if I could just know all the truth and bury that bitching wound once and for all.but it's also because I trusted them too much before,once that deep trust is broken,I don't think it'll come back,ever again.heck,I'm not even sure if I'm going to believe what they say anymore,even if I asked them to be frank for just once for me and come clean everything in a go.
people always say time heals everything,but damn after couple of years,that wound will still bitch from time to time.maybe it's time I let my guard down and be ok with letting people that is sincere in helping me and accepting that fragile part of me.or probably because I was too hung up with my solitary life that I have to start letting people to go deeper inside of me.in the end,scar will somehow leave a mark on us,to remind ourselves of our past mistake,and not to repeat it,right?heck I've survived bike crash that left some wounds on me,too.though I still love to ride my motorbike,that awful feeling of somehow I'm going to die in an instant still lingers.
sometimes when I look back I wonder,what am I to both of them.am I just another human on this planet,or am I a human to them at all?what I've done to deserve all of this,is that how u treat a fellow human,let alone friend?am I even a friend to u guys from the beginning?but still I have to thank both of them for teaching me lesson the hard way in life and force myself to pick myself up and stand on my own again.
enough with the venting,it's getting unhealthy for me.note to self: get a girlfriend.adios motherfuckers.this is me fucking off to face the daily grind tomorrow. 

Singapore: Day 1

Overall,the Singapore trip went pretty well i must say,hella good. Though some of my plans for the trip there are affected by the damn rainy weather,such as the trip to the night safari and the plan to cycle around SG during midnight(it's a tiny islandic country,so if there is rain it rains the whole damn country)But hey,you cant have it all. Main thing is i still enjoy myself very much during the whole trip.
Man,it's been ages since my last post here...
I'm kinda lazy to explain how my trip went so lets just leave the talking to the pictures.

The day is 31st December, last day of the year 2010.

Stuck at a mamak store at Little India. Talk about bright start on first day....

Fit of the day. This might be cliche for those who know me well. But i can't help it, i really like this laid back style, simple yet fine for all occasion.

My personal tour guide and good friend from NTU,Zliang. For more better pictures of this day check out photos from his facebook page.

He managed to borrow a DSLR(some nikon,forgot the model name already) from his mates back at the campus thus we're pretty much fiddling with that cam the whole day trying it out. It is my first time playing with DSLRs too, a bit too high-tech for me at the beginning. But one thing that is a cold-hard fact: they do capture really good quality photos.

Went to the esplanade after the rain eased. By the time we're at the esplanade the weather is still kinda unpredictable. Never really a big fan of rainy days...think they still gonna continue with the fireworks if the weather persists?

Inside the durian-ish building. Just got my new spec the day before i came here,not bad for a new look eh? hahaha.

Yep, this durian-ish building. What's the name of this building again? those who know, kind enough to leave the answer on the chatbox? man,guess this shirt of mine is really shrinking...

Had our early dinner at the underground shopping place at City Hall MRT before proceed with our countdown plan. What I had might look creepy and weird but trust me, it tasted much better that you think.

By the time we finished our dinner, the rain already officially dead. People have started to camp and mark their territory around the bay area for the new years eve celebration with sheets of newspaper or mat on the ground to sit on, and photography freaks are also starting to lurk around to find that perfect angle to set up their tripod in effort to capture all that is about to happen tonight. It is barely 6pm and people started to fill up rapidly around the vicinity of marina bay.

Dude toying around with that DSLR too much and in the end his eye become sore and numb, haha. That camera almost got him hooked up on photography.

The view of the majestic city before the sun went down.

And it looked many many times more stunning and breathtaking by night.

Really love the scene of the city by night time. By 8pm almost all of the places around the marina bay allready jam packed with people.

Now THIS is truly a majestic piece of modern day architectural wonder. Passed on the chance to go up to the peak of this building to scope around the sights and sounds at ground level. I could do something better with the extra $20 i saved on the entrance fee to the top level of the Marina Bay Sands, such as get myself a brand-spankin' new jacket few days later.

The inside view of the shopping complex beside the casino of the marina bay. Notice there is a canal below which you can get on a boat or equivalent size ship to cruise around the waters of marina bay.

This looked familiar....what you think it look like?

It'll be so cool and fun if i can get the key to this cute truck and drive around the area. Saved a lot of energy and body fluid walking around the marina bay area that is constantly crowded everywhere you go. Always disliked going places that is too crowded.

we found a great spot to view and take photos in front of the merlion. And because of the sudden influx of people, the whole area is then closed to prevent anymore people going into the area that we are in. The same goes for us inside the area as well: we have to stay in there or risk not able to get back to the same spot. We're stuck there around 10pm. While waiting fot the clock, i kill my time by taking this photo of our kicks. Always had my favorite pair to wear, the black and white Janoskis everytime i went on a trip. Too bad all the beatings started to take a toll on them, might eventually skate this pair to end their life as my trustworthy beater.

A rough idea for you guys on the crowd that started to build up before the whole place is packed like a giant-sized tuna can. But hey, at times of celebration like this the more the merrier isn't it?

the view of the marina bay after the clock struck 12 and all the firecrackers had gone off and the dust has settled. No, you do not see three moons, those are water driplets/ reflections/ whatever things you guys into photography can come up with. I did not took any photos of the 8 minute long fire cracker show as i was too busy looking at it myself and helping ZLiang record them into his another digicam.

And the crowd went a little bit out of control after the show has ended. We end up walking to another MRT station that is not that near from the nearest station. And we were lucky enough to board the last train home.

This was the first time I'm celebrating new year outside of Malaysia and no doubt i had a really good time. Too bad there are no counting down before the fire crackers started to went off. But still it was a great one. Bye 2010 and well-fuckin-come, 2011. This does start off my year with a bang. may the good keep on coming and the best is yet to come. Happy belated new year to all you guys out there,too.

Messy shoerack

This is what the shoe rack at my place looks like....

The main problem is the amount of shoe is just keep on increasing,never decreasing.It's like a bunch of families are living under one roof while the fact is only 6 dudes live inside this tiny condo.

Went out to take the structural analysis textbook from my classmate, and since the weather is showing signs it is about to rain, i din rock any of my suede leather kicks(obviously), and i hate wearing sandals on the wet floor, that is when my old-trustworthy trainer comes along to the rescue.

My beat-the-crap-out trainer Air Max 90.Regret getting them true to size,we should always get trainers half size or 1 size up than our true size,because due to the design of trainers we need extra space for our toes to move(learned this from working at adidas).But its still a good pair of trainer.

Maybe it is time for me to clear some of the really old shoes and re-organize the shoe rack....

20th Anniversary GPM

Happy 20th anniversary for GPM, or Grundfos Pumps Malaysia. It is the 20th anniversary of the company, and they will did this special anniversary celebration once every 5 years. I also attended the last celebration 5 years ago at the Palace of Golden Horses. I'm actually cant attend that function, just that there is a spot left for my dad's company, and i'm just filling the void. A good way to spend my usually dull friday night too.
The function is held at Nikko Hotel, dealers,clients from all around the nation came to this function, yet i only know handful of people there,mostly staffs of my dad's,and my dad included. I pretty much went there just for the food,obviously....

I only managed to take 1 photo to let you guys see the inside of the hall, plus my phone camera is really shitty when it comes to capturing photo in dark places like this. Well the food is great, a lot of great choices like lamb kebabs, johor laksa,sushi,some indian food and so on....too much that i cant remember all of them, oh cant forget the free flow of beer, as my housemates always say :"mabuk free". There were a bunch of peope dressed in costumes there to entertain people, even Darth Vader was there, wonder why there is no stormtrooper accompanying that cool dude in shining black armor. There was also 'The Thing' of Fantastic Four, too bad when i wanna take pictures with them all of the costumes-clad dudes already left....it'll be so awesome to take pictures with Darth, he might be always force choking his incompetent minions all the time but deep down inside i bet he's a mellow dude and fun to hang with, just hope he wont choke me too.
Well overall its quite a good night spent there, much better than spent it in my room online or zombie killing or facing the dull notes and books.
that's it,gotta sleep now, feelin' a bit tipsy from the beer.

Selamat Pagi Sayang

A local production starring Noh of the great local band Hujan and DJ Fuzz. Support your local music! A really great song, glad local music scene is slowly going on a rise.

Oreo Overload

On the way to hunt for films for Johnson's new camera(not exactly new,it's totally mechanical camera,made in the Soviet during cold war era), he lead me to a pastry shop and somehow forced me to make a decision on a cake(seriously i dont know why he'll walk into a pastry shop at first),and this is my choice:

big thanks to that chick that work at the pastry shop for misspelled pretty much nearly every word. The cake is made of more than 50% oreo,which is one of my favorite cookie of all time, and i love this cake,still eating them while i'm typing this...big thanks again to Johnson for getting me this cake :-) finally i got the chance to cast my birthday wish this year LOL.
Gotta go now,wanna finish this sucker by today.

Happy Birthday,mate.

Finally,the big "two-one" is here. Glad i'm still alive and kicking it.

Again,happy birthday,edward :-)